Longing For Complete Restoration

This season is awesome! The Passover season where we celebrate the Death, Burial, and Resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, resulting in death’s defeat and the ultimate redemption of mankind! The only event in history to provide final forgiveness and the antidote to sin’s consequence! (Romans 6:23) The turning point of time when men throughout the ages were offered complete restoration to the God of our creation! And now, for those who accept this perfect gift, we await the promised return to the world’s original, flawless state! It is Finished! Glory to God in the Highest! Peace and Goodwill toward men has been accomplished in full!

During this celebration period, as I attended my church’s Good Friday service, my adoration of the Lord was full and my worship utterly genuine! My heart was glad as I watched 20 people, of all shapes, sizes, and ages identify as believers and followers of Christ through Baptism! I then gratefully listened to a sermon on Jesus’s selfless, propitiatory sacrifice and the subsequent responses of the thieves on either side of him! Later, as we partook of Communion (better known to some as The Lord’s Supper), I deeply committed myself to the remembrance of my Lord and what He has done for me, experiencing both the sorrow and the joy! During the moments of worship through song my heart leapt as I sang the meaningful lyrics of Truth! At times I couldn’t help but smile as I watched the redeemed around me lift their voices up in praise to their Savior! Each and every one gathered in reverence for the Godhead, three in one! All in all, the evening was good indeed!

And yet, an unsettled longing echoes throughout the deepest parts of me.

To be honest, I’m not so sure very many of you will be able to understand or relate to the things I’m about to say, at least not initially, but this is where I’m at and I feel the need to share. I’ll do my best to explain this unsettled longing.

The life I have lived has been, in a word, difficult. The hardship that continuously plagues my life due to Duchenne honestly follows me everywhere. This disease, a mere symptom of the sin and death that has corrupted the world, refuses to relent in its pursuit of my demise! Surely it is Satanic, demonic in nature, evidenced by the life-stealing ravages it tolls! We all have our trials, but for me, it has been a single, incessant one! My valley that I walk through is perpetual. My storm that I weather, neverending.

It is for these reasons that I so often refer to the following verse: “He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.” – ‭Isaiah‬ ‭53:3‬. Several of these phrases resonate deeply with my personal experience! Part of why I love my Savior so, is because I CAN identify in a very real way with the suffering he endured! Obviously, to offer our situations equivalence would be absurd and inaccurate, but the principle remains. I don’t think I can particularly say that I have been despised by men like Jesus was and is. I have not been treated with no esteem and ignored in the midst of carrying the punishment of ALL of mankind’s sin! Praise God that the Messiah went through that so I would not have to! But, like Jesus, I have dealt with rejection in various forms, for reasons out of my control. Most of it being done unintentionally. Likewise, I believe it would be fair to describe me as a man of sorrows and well acquainted with grief! (Thankfully I am well acquainted with grace as well!) Much like my Lord, I’ve traveled a path across the plain of pain.

Though somewhat of a comparison can be made, as I consider the Lord’s suffering in relation to mine (Hebrews 12:3), I am grateful for the evident disparity! I cannot and will never have to claim to have suffered as He did! It is impossible for me to overstate how He not only faced something much worse, but He faced it on my behalf! He took my punishment, that He could heal my hurts! This is why I dare not abandon faith in the face of my tribulation!

With that being said, it is by Jesus alone that I have been able to enjoy this life because He is the only one able to provide true hope that this suffering will pass away and all things be made new! I am weak in so many ways and it is He who has made me strong! He is the source of my strength; He is the strength of my life! I am in a state of great dependency and therefore I have been quicker than most to rely on the Lord! I need Him physically just as much as I need Him spiritually! Sin brought corruption to my soul, and the effects of death have brought corruption to my body. In my constant physical need, it has inevitably led to my constant recognition of my even greater spiritual need.

And so, I turn to Him. Again and again. He has saved me from my sin! He has restored me to fellowship with the Father! He has given me full availability to the presence of God through His Spirit dwelling in me! As much as I know how, I love the Lord, my God with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength! I desire to obey His every way! He alone is my salvation and I will forever owe Him all! I am certain of what He has done for me, and there is no turning back!

Yet my uncertainty from the unsettled longing lingers still. Something essential and inevitable seems to be missing.

Consider with me Isaiah 53:5, “But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.” This Old Testament verse prophetically speaks of the brutal crucifixion that Christ sacrificially went through as the greatest expression of His great Love for us. He was wounded and bruised for both our internal and external sins! He freely took our rightful punishment upon Himself! By this act and the precious blood He shed we have the gracious gift of healing! This speaks first and foremost of being healed spiritually because there is no more important healing. I am so grateful I have received this healing! Nothing will ever compare!

But the Lord I know heals men physically too, so from there I must direct you to Jesus’s words in Mark 2:9-11, “Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘ Your sins are forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘Arise, take up your bed and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has power on earth to forgive sins” —He said to the paralytic, “I say to you, arise, take up your bed, and go to your house.”” The next verse says the paralyzed man rose up, went out, and the people glorified God. In the context of Jewish culture at the time the answer to the question posed is that it’s easier to heal than forgive sins because only God can do the latter. Jesus therefore uses the physical healing as proof that He did indeed have the power to forgive sins. This left everyone who witnessed the scene with the unavoidable choice to either take Jesus at His word and believe that He is the Son of God, or consider Him a liar and a blasphemer. So the logic goes as follows, if One is able to forgive your sins, then that same One is able to heal your body as well. It is because of this context that we read, “He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?” in Romans‬ ‭8:32‬. How powerful would it likewise be if the world witnessed what the Lord did for the paralytic in my own life?! Men would again be forced to consider whether He is the Messiah!

Romans 8:11 even earlier says this, “But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.” The entirety of that passage speaks of the battle between the life of the flesh and the life of the Spirit. It culminates in this verse declaring that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in us (thanks for the line, Jeremy Camp). And therefore we are provided all that we could possibly need to live out the Spirit-filled life. The Holy Spirit gives us the very energy and ability to accomplish it! The phrase for this idea says, “give life to your mortal bodies”, so one must assume that includes provision for physical life, meaning the eradication of some of the effects of death. After all, Jesus arose bodily, so it would follow that we would experience aspects of our bodily restoration as we walk out the Father’s Will, right? Let me know Bible scholars; asking for a friend.

As we near the finish, at this point I must assume that you believe you can recognize what my deep, unsettled longing is. You’d say my main longing is to be fully healed of DMD. But I must tell you, you’d be wrong. I instead mainly long to be made free to fully express my devotion to my God! I long to lift my arms to the maximum height in my praise! To drop to my knees, even fall prostrate, in prayer! To give my everything in the service of others, rather than needing to be served! I long to explore every nook and cranny of Creation! To experience every culture the world has to offer! To play with each little kid I come across! To run with all the animals! To sing and shout at the top of my lungs, with full capacity! To live life to the fullest! I long to do these things for the King of kings! To do them for the Lord of lords! My desire for complete bodily restoration truly exists, not for my sake, but for the sake of His glory!

In closing, complete restorative healing in the spiritual and, consequently, the physical is entirely Biblical. But, the mystery of the timing of that healing is entirely Biblical as well. I do not know the best answer to this paradox. And I’m not sure I ever will, I have been seeking to understand this most of my life after all. Daily I must choose to submit to the fact that only God knows the answer in full!

But here’s what I do know:

I need not focus on the reality of the presence of Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, for the reality of the ever more present Redemption of Jesus Christ is at hand and holds supremacy over the former!

The Lord is always ministering to my spirit that I may better understand the mysteries of the Faith! He is maintaining my life and I have experienced times of real healing, so I know my convictions borne out of my relationship with my Savior are true! I just haven’t seen the finality of it yet!

God has used this thorn in my flesh to thoroughly strengthen my faith in Him. (2 Corinthians 12:7) My condition has a way of amplifying my insufficiencies, making my need for Him exponentially, and at times humorously, obvious. Not a day goes by where this disease does not intensify my sinful tendencies. It has served as a flaw magnifier, leaving me unable to come to any other conclusion than, “He must increase, and I must decrease!” (John 3:30)

As Isaiah 54:17 says, “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the LORD.” DMD is a weapon the kingdom of hell has employed to destroy this servant of the King. One day this weapon will no longer be effective and will have to be abandoned by the enemy. I believe that day is near!

Whatever may pass on this Earth, the promise of Isaiah 25:8 remains, “He will swallow up death forever, And the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces; The rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth; For the LORD has spoken.” ALL things WILL be restored one day! The Kingdom of Heaven will again reign victorious!

In reflection on these things, I gladly and boldly repeat: It is Finished! Glory to God in the Highest! Peace and Goodwill toward men has been accomplished in full!

“So when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished!” And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit.” – ‭John‬ ‭19:30‬

“He is not here; for He is risen, as He said.” – Matthew‬ ‭28:6‬

“Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” – Luke‬ ‭2:14‬ ‭